When my great-grandparents got married, it
caused no small scandal! My great-grandfather,
from a devoutly Catholic rural family, had chosen a
Protestant girl from the "big city" to be his bride. The
religious differences between the two families caused
so much friction that my great-grandmother eventually left
- emigrating to the United States, and taking her two small children
with her.
Interfaith dating has come a long way since then
- a Catholic-Protestant match is unlikely to raise any modern eyebrows.
But differences in beliefs are still an issue that can disrupt
a relationship or a marriage.
Will spiritual differences be a problem for you?
Here are some thoughts to explore in assessing whether
dating someone of a different religion is a good choice for you:
- How important is spirituality in your life? What role does
it play? - A very spiritual person can have a successful
relationship with someone who doesn't share their beliefs.
However if part of your spiritual practice is converting
others to your religion, that may work with someone open to
exploring your faith but could lead to resentment in a
partner with strong, contradictory beliefs.
- What values and principles are important to you in a partner?
- Important things to think about before searching for
a mate.
- Is it important to you that someone follow the details
and practices of
a particular religion, or is it more important that they live
according to the principles of your faith? Many
non-religious people live by principles which are common to many
religions. However your viewpoint is important - how critical
are the rituals of your religion? Can a person who doesn't
attend church services still live their life as a good Christian?
- Do you think less of people who practice certain other religions
(or none at all)? A relationship where one person thinks
less of the other is destined for failure.
- And last but not least: Can you be tolerant and non-judgemental
about beliefs which differ from yours?
Sometimes
people can work out their differences despite the odds.
However, communication is key. If you meet that perfect person
online and their faith or spiritual beliefs (or lack of them) differ
greatly from yours, the best thing you can do is sit down together
for an honest discussion - learn where you're both coming from
and what your respective priorities are. This will help you determine
if it's best to part now as friends and go your separate ways before
you getting too involved, or if compassion and compromise will
win out in the end.
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